Authors note: I was assigned to write a paper so I wrote this.
When Niko was walking down the road, he noticed a truck tipped over next to the road. He rushed over and noticed a man on his cell phone next to the truck. "What happened?" Niko asked. The man replied " my truck's breaks got jammed and so I crashed into this ditch.". That stinks Niko said. Then the man said that Niko could have all of the things in the truck because he said that the company he works for says that we will deliver the product in a certain time or we give it away. Niko was in for a big surprise.
When Niko opened the back of the truck there was about 1000 roles of duct tape 10 panes of bullet prof glass, 10, 6 inch thick sheets of metal and 2 go-carts. Niko was confused, he said "What kind of company are you?". The man replied "We make almost everything". "Well that explains it"Niko said in a sarcastic voice. "So do I get every thing then?". "Yep". Niko was so excited that he almost peed his pants. he couldn't wait to get home.
When Niko got home he ran out back and started to work on an ultimate tree house fortress. he first found a good tree and then got one metal sheet ( that where surprisingly light). He set it into the tree on two strong branches. then he got a power saw and drilled two together.
when he finished the fort he got the duct tape and sealed up the holes on the top and sides were water could get in. then he got the duct tape and made some armor that is about 1 inch thick. Then he armored the go-carts with the remaining metal, duct tape, and glass.
many days went by and he enjoyed his creations. Then he saw his enemy. They had a paint ball gun and they were coming. Niko ran inside and grabbed his paint ball gun and two more clips. He ran back out side. He was too late. they had gotten into his fort. he heard "BANG BANG BANG" and three paint balls flew past him. Niko ran towards his go-carts and drove around the yard firing back. the enemy came out of the fort and got in the other go-cart.
They drove around until the ran out of gas then they got out and started shooting again. The enemy ran out of ammo and then Niko had a chance .Niko chased him away and thee enemy never bothered him again.
When Niko was walking down the road, he noticed a truck tipped over next to the road. He rushed over and noticed a man on his cell phone next to the truck. "What happened?" Niko asked. The man replied " my truck's breaks got jammed and so I crashed into this ditch.". That stinks Niko said. Then the man said that Niko could have all of the things in the truck because he said that the company he works for says that we will deliver the product in a certain time or we give it away. Niko was in for a big surprise.
When Niko opened the back of the truck there was about 1000 roles of duct tape 10 panes of bullet prof glass, 10, 6 inch thick sheets of metal and 2 go-carts. Niko was confused, he said "What kind of company are you?". The man replied "We make almost everything". "Well that explains it"Niko said in a sarcastic voice. "So do I get every thing then?". "Yep". Niko was so excited that he almost peed his pants. he couldn't wait to get home.
When Niko got home he ran out back and started to work on an ultimate tree house fortress. he first found a good tree and then got one metal sheet ( that where surprisingly light). He set it into the tree on two strong branches. then he got a power saw and drilled two together.
when he finished the fort he got the duct tape and sealed up the holes on the top and sides were water could get in. then he got the duct tape and made some armor that is about 1 inch thick. Then he armored the go-carts with the remaining metal, duct tape, and glass.
many days went by and he enjoyed his creations. Then he saw his enemy. They had a paint ball gun and they were coming. Niko ran inside and grabbed his paint ball gun and two more clips. He ran back out side. He was too late. they had gotten into his fort. he heard "BANG BANG BANG" and three paint balls flew past him. Niko ran towards his go-carts and drove around the yard firing back. the enemy came out of the fort and got in the other go-cart.
They drove around until the ran out of gas then they got out and started shooting again. The enemy ran out of ammo and then Niko had a chance .Niko chased him away and thee enemy never bothered him again.
Very creative. In the fifth paragraph, I wondered, "Who is his enemy? What do they look like" You should have described them more. To give the story more of a visual you could have described the chase scene a lot better. Also, there were some capitalztion errors at the beginning of sentenses and paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteYou told us how Niko got the materials and how he made the fort and go carts, but after that you didn't tell much more about how the fight progressed. You could have gone more in depth on how the battle rolled out and other battles that happened in the future.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good and creative post, but how many enemy's are there because you said they, and who is it?
ReplyDeleteYou should continue this and make a sequel including ideas from the previous comments.
ReplyDelete