Authors note: I am focusing on using transitions.
My birthday was just like any other day, I got up went to school and worked. The day was good over all. I wish it could happen again. the whole thing starts with me waking up.
In the morning on the announcements they said it was my birthday and that is pretty cool. As the day went on I went to computer pub, and lunch. I told people it was my birthday and they where like "No way" and I said "Yeah" I went to gym and got really tired so I was happy when it was over Then I went back to the academy and had my one on one.
After I got new tasks I eventually went home. We went to Moe's to sign Josh up for Baseball. then we went to noodles and got some food. When I got home I ate chocolate moose pie. I then opened a present. and went to bed.
It was a very interesting day but at school it was mostly normal. I enjoyed it more at home though (because of the pie and the presents).
My birthday was just like any other day, I got up went to school and worked. The day was good over all. I wish it could happen again. the whole thing starts with me waking up.
In the morning on the announcements they said it was my birthday and that is pretty cool. As the day went on I went to computer pub, and lunch. I told people it was my birthday and they where like "No way" and I said "Yeah" I went to gym and got really tired so I was happy when it was over Then I went back to the academy and had my one on one.
After I got new tasks I eventually went home. We went to Moe's to sign Josh up for Baseball. then we went to noodles and got some food. When I got home I ate chocolate moose pie. I then opened a present. and went to bed.
It was a very interesting day but at school it was mostly normal. I enjoyed it more at home though (because of the pie and the presents).
Well I hope you had an overall great birthday. I like how you described your day like it was any normal day. I can tell that you were focusing on Transitions and you did pretty good. I did spot some grammar errors, but other than that good job!
ReplyDeleteWell it wasn't very long or descriptive, but I can't say my birthday was any more eventful. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteNice job! 2 comments though: One, you spelled chocolate moose wrong, it's really spelled chocolate mousse with a ' over the e. Other than that nice transitions/paragraph (you could have added a little more detail in there to make it a little more like you writing it).
ReplyDelete