Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Autumn

I am in a forest with the sun shining through the branches. The leaves are orange, and everything seems to be in a state of change. The birds are chirping, and when I look up I see them flying from tree to tree. I feel relaxed and at ease. It feels as if nothing can go wrong. Everything is perfect.

I start to walk, and eventually I hear the flow of water. There is a stream to my right. It is gently flowing. I decide to follow it. I notice that other small streams are connecting to it and that it is growing more open. The stream is moving faster. I keep following the stream into a cave. There are small holes in the top of the cave where the light is coming in, so you can see all of the crystals that have grown there. I wanted to touch them, but I knew that they could cut me. I came out of the tunnel, and I was on the edge of a cliff, but not so close that I could slip off. In front of me, 3 waterfalls fall down into a circular canyon. I went down a path to my left to a waterfall. I felt the mist on my face. Suddenly, I heard something in the bushes, so I decided to head back. I hiked on the trail through the tunnel and the woods back towards the place were this daydream began.

3 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this entry, and can see how it originated in a stream of consciousness. The vivid detail detail brings it to life, and the sensory images are compelling.
    As a piece of writing I would suggest organizing this into paragraphs, to sort out the ideas, and allow you to more fully develop what sounds like could easily be a short story of a sort. It comes to an abrupt end, and usually when a students ends with it being a dream, it really means there wasn't enough time to really develop the whole idea. Reconsider this, and seriously reflect on making this nice piece much stronger by developing it appropriately.

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  2. I think it is a very good and detailed piece.

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