I am in a forest with the sun shining through the branches. The leaves are orange, and everything seems to be in a state of change. The birds are chirping, and when I look up I see them flying from tree to tree. I feel relaxed and at ease. It feels as if nothing can go wrong. Everything is perfect.
I start to walk, and eventually I hear the flow of water. There is a stream to my right. It is gently flowing. I decide to follow it. I notice that other small streams are connecting to it and that it is growing more open. The stream is moving faster. I keep following the stream into a cave. There are small holes in the top of the cave where the light is coming in, so you can see all of the crystals that have grown there. I wanted to touch them, but I knew that they could cut me. I came out of the tunnel, and I was on the edge of a cliff, but not so close that I could slip off. In front of me, 3 waterfalls fall down into a circular canyon. I went down a path to my left to a waterfall. I felt the mist on my face. Suddenly, I heard something in the bushes, so I decided to head back. I hiked on the trail through the tunnel and the woods back towards the place were this daydream began.
I really enjoyed this entry, and can see how it originated in a stream of consciousness. The vivid detail detail brings it to life, and the sensory images are compelling.
ReplyDeleteAs a piece of writing I would suggest organizing this into paragraphs, to sort out the ideas, and allow you to more fully develop what sounds like could easily be a short story of a sort. It comes to an abrupt end, and usually when a students ends with it being a dream, it really means there wasn't enough time to really develop the whole idea. Reconsider this, and seriously reflect on making this nice piece much stronger by developing it appropriately.
nice entry
ReplyDeleteI think it is a very good and detailed piece.
ReplyDelete